I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
