Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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