Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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