Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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