btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
