Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
not ubering you a puppy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
