i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want her autograph on my taint
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How does it feel to date your dad?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
