how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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