You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
