You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
