Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize