Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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