Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
