another moral hangover. fuck.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
