There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
