Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
