Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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