its not stalking. its research.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Randomize
