We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
