i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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