I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
