xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
