Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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