I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
