I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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