Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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