Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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