And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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