Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
