How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
