So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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