nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
