all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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