I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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