we have pet lesbian snakes
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
