singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
