There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm passing your future prison.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
