im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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