everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize