don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
