Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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