office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
