How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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