I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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