how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Alive.
So much puke
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
