Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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