Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
