Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Boobs speak an international language.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
