New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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