if i can run in heels then i can drive
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
