he thought i was a dude.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
