She's JV to your varsity
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
