I accidentally had phone sex last night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
