Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
