I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
