if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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