just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
