maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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