i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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