Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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