Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
