yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
