Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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