Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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