so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
