My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
