I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
