Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dignity is for republicans.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize