you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
