Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize