Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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