Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
