We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
