I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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