3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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