Will you blow on my dice?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize