I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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