Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
