Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize