And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
