I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
